so I am terribly behind on updating this blog, in fact, I am pretty much a terrible blogger. though, having said that, I have managed to keep the facebook page updated almost weekly since Larry’s accident. thanks to my sister for creating it so that I would have a place to let as many as possible know how things are going all at once.
needless to say, the last post took place a few weeks after “the accident” and so much has happened since then…
I doubt I can roll it all into a nutshell, but I will try…trust, me, try is about all I do these days
so here goes:
the good should come first, but technically the bad did…so I am rolling with that – don’t sue me, it’s my blog, I can do what I want.
so then, the bad – as of the last time I posted here, we were waiting for an appointment to see the surgeon at MCV and had such high hopes that he would be able to help us out. afterall, he was “the guy”, “the best” and we could not wait to see him. I have never been so excited to go to the doctor, ever, except for maybe when I was getting the test results on my pregnancies. anyway, we go, traffic bites, major traffic jam on the interstate and gridlock trying to get into the parking lot, but we did it, I gave us a cushion of time just in case, and we needed it … but made it to the desk right on time to check in for his appointment. everyone was pleasant, took him back to x-ray and then wheeled him into the cast room to wait to see the doctor. mind you, I had been in communication with his nurse for almost 3 weeks and the surgeon in Roanoke also communicated with them, so there shouldn’t have been any surprises.
but there was…
so, an attending physician comes in, super nice, checked out the leg, which still had the external fixator on it and was quite interested in what happened and what may come next. then the doctor comes in…like I said, he was supposed to be “the guy” and I can’t even remember if he even shook our hand, he basically introduced himself and then said, without any forethought or feeling, that he cannot do anything for us. it was more like, “there is nothing I can do for you” – blank face, seriously
that was it – you would have thought someone had slapped us, we both just sat there and were speechless and I think Larry asked him to say it again. I immediately started tearing up, the stress from the previous three weeks had been all consuming and I just could not believe what I was hearing.
then he said it again…so plain and simple, as if we were supposed to understand. then, he asked another “guy” to clean and re-dress the wound and said that he could recommend us to a surgeon at UVA…that he’d have his nurse call their nurse, yada yada yada…not sure what else he said because I was still trying to pick my mouth up off of the floor.
needless to say, we saw him one more time…for wound care and haven’t seen him since!!!
the good – UVA…all the way, totally a fan now for life!! the one good thing that came from the “bad” was the referral to Dr. Weiss. when I say the difference was night and day between the two – it’s not a cliche’ – truly miles apart, in demeanor, bedside manner, knowledge, ability and personality. we were anxious prior to this visit, mostly because of the trauma from the MCV bit – but, that was alleviated seconds after meeting the doctor and his team. hands on, pleasant, explained the injury, the procedure to repair it, the possibilities, and he not only shook our hands, he actually touched “the leg” – checking for movement, numbness, etc., – I am sure there are medical terms for the exam, but suffice it to say, we were exactly where we needed to be and he was exactly who we needed to help us. Larry actually hugged him…he was so grateful.
so, surgery was scheduled for the following week, we made reservations in a hotel close by so that I would not have to drive back and forth every day and there was not an option to stay with him this time, no private rooms. plus, to be completely honest, I needed somewhere to retreat and a comfortable bed to sleep in. thankfully, my sisters had set up a fundme account, so it afforded us to be able to do that and has been very beneficial in helping cover the unexpected expenses from this whole thing, including all of the traveling, medical supplies, and so on.
anyway, surgery day was long and grueling…not by the fault of anyone, an emergency came in that needed to be taken care of first, so we actually had to wait several hours before Larry could go back and get prepped for surgery. ordinarily, I would not catergorize a long wait as good, but that’s how happy we are with the doctor, so I simply just refuse to complain about it now.
surgery took several hours, I was literally the very last person in the lobby (as we got kicked out of the waiting room hours earlier) and around 1:00 am, Dr. Weiss came out to talk to me, very happy and content with what they managed to get done. he did explain to me that there may be some permanent damage to the peroneal nerve in his leg, but in most cases, it can take up to two years to really know that. I have honestly never met a nicer more humble doctor in my life.
Larry spent most of the week at the hospital, and while he was in a lot of pain and out of it, he was just thrilled to see his leg still attached, the metal bars (fixator) removed and looked forward to recovery.
the ugly – I don’t really know what to say here, other than, one – I was not cut out to be a nurse – I lack the patience, and even after 3 months of this, it hasn’t gotten better…so you can blow that theory out of the water! it didn’t teach me patience…it did teach me to bite my tongue, which I did a lot! it taught me to take more deep breaths before responding so that my voice doesn’t sound “mad” 😉 and maybe it taught me that out of the two boys, Tanner will most likely be the one to take care of us, because Logan had had just about enough about two months ago!! Being a caretaker is exhausting, taking care of wounds, and icky stuff…yep, not for me…but I did it, and I did get better at it; but I hope I never have to do it again. I’ve been getting up an hour or so earlier than normal every day to take care of medicine and breakfast and other necessary duties before I get ready to go to work. I go home every day on my lunch break – medicine & lunch…and home every night, trying to muster up the energy to make dinner, when all I really feel like doing is nothing. sad to say, my grocery and food budget busted open weeks ago, but it is easier on my mental health to order take out than it is to think of something to cook, cook it and do dishes. on top of that, I am out of leave time at work until January, so every time I take off to go to the doctor is without pay…so, that bites too. seriously, I put this all under ugly because it is…complaining is so ugly…it really is but this is the real world people, and there it is. I am tired…possibly a little grumpy…and at this particular moment, I don’t care if it bothers anyone.
back to the good –
mind you, there are more good things that happened than bad. for those first few weeks of chaos while Larry was in the hospital, my sister arranged for different ones to bring meals so that the boys would not go hungry. my niece went out of her way to go to our house and stay with them while we were in Roanoke for two weeks and again for the week we spent in Charlottesville. my other sister finished painting the room I had left half done when the accident happened and got the laundry nightmare under control. and my other sister set up a fund to help us out financially, because, well, we needed it. not to mention, the friends that helped, that sent cards and were so supportive. including our very close friends, who helped with transporting Larry home from the hospital, both times and for building steps so that he could get into the house safely.
what did I learn…that I really do love the big guy…that I have never been so scared or so worried in my life. that my guys mean the world to me. that people really do care. and some people really don’t. that life goes on, that we shall survive, and things will get better.
we still have a long way to go – he just started hydrotherapy this week and hopefully in a couple more weeks will be able to put weight on his leg. but it literally is one step at a time. the goal…to be walking before winter…one way or another. 🙂
that’s it, that’s all