“it’s what gets me through the day…” probably one of my favorite lines from a movie and lately it rings more true than ever.

about a week ago – as I “thought about” getting caught up in this blog (laughing out loud now) I had a different title in mind – it was something like “caught somewhere between a circus and a train wreck” but honestly, as much as I do feel that way at times, I really have to say that the whole saying “it could be worse” is constantly in my thoughts.

each and every day that goes by – I read about or see the news and there is so much “bad”!! it certainly puts things into perspective and sort of steps on my toes a bit. while our life has not been easy for the last 9 months – I would not trade my problems with that of pretty much anyone else that I know. I have friends fighting for their lives…I have friends fighting for their children’s lives and it literally breaks my heart to know how hard that must be to go through for them and their families.

don’t get me wrong, I am overwhelmed – I am tired…beyond it actually – I have medical bills that I will be making payments on for many years!! I often feel like no one understands and that most don’t realize how bad things really were/are/could’ve been – even though I am positive that I said it, wrote it, posted it. I actually get tired of hearing myself talk about it and just want things to get good enough to be able to COMPLETELY move on. and so, here goes to trying to do just that – but first, an update…

it would seem that I left off sometime in february when Larry started “land therapy” as he likes to call it!! bahahhaaha

needless to say, he went a few afternoons a week and then cut back to two afternoons a week to save money…sad, but true and this blog is where I just say it like it is…

he went back to work – not quite full-time but almost – as a manager, he is able to do his job for the most part, though navigating around the place that he works is very hard on his leg because it requires a lot of walking. his company agreed to give him on-site parking and he has a shiny new handicap tag for this truck and he uses a cane to get around – with plenty of stops to rest as needed. (probably not nearly as much as he needs because he is stubborn and impatient and so desperately wants to be back to normal but…you know what I mean)

and like last time, there have been numerous trips to Charlottesville and back – the drive seems to get shorter and we have our own routine for the most part – and a new tradition of stopping for a chocolate dipped cone on the way home just because we like it! 😉

he had his 4th surgery a week ago today – it was sort of 2 in 1 – the doctor had to remove a lot of scar tissue from behind his knee and work on the tendons there, so that he could extend his leg more. since the last surgery, there was a significant bend in his leg which made it very difficult to walk without looking a bit like a neanderthal =O and while they had hoped that physical therapy would have eliminated that between the scar tissue and the tendons being so tight – surgery became necessary. the part 2 of the surgery was to cut the achilles tendon – so that he would be able to keep his foot up. the nerve damage, which is more than likely permanent, caused him to have “drop foot” – so, even if his leg had been straight, walking with his foot that way, would be hard for him – as he’d have to bring his leg up higher with each step just to avoid from tripping over his own foot. he currently has a hard cast on his foot up to below his knee but the ultimate goal is for his leg to be straight and his foot to be straight. we have 5 more weeks in the cast – so fingers are crossed!!!

they did perform another nerve study since the last time that I posted and there was some “very slight” activity in the top of his foot – which is great news!!! and nothing at all happening in his shin – so, we don’t really expect that to come back, but nerves can take up to two years to regenerate, so not giving up “hope”!

I think the hardest part of this whole saga is the fact that we were not prepared – and that more times than not we simply felt helpless. if it were not for my faith and hope in Jehovah and for the friends and family that have been so supportive and understanding – I am pretty sure I would be that “train wreck” that I mentioned earlier.

yesterday I heard an experience about a butterfly flying with 70% of their wings damaged and gone – it’s mind boggling when you think about it – but it hit me, and it hit Larry too. we can be damaged, hurt, broken or whatever, but it is up to us to keep flying.

with hope…