Category: memories

the heart is weak….

okay, technically “the flesh is weak and the heart is treacherous”…if I am quoting verse.

so I am just sitting here with a million and two things on my mind…yes, more than you thought, huh?! and have known for a very long time that I need to regroup. as a mom, I am always busy, running my boys here and there, helping with homework and last minute projects, editing their papers (which is bad for them, my grammar sucks!) and the usual shoe shopping, haircuts, soccer games and such. that is after the monday thru friday, forty hour a week, stealing my precious hours away from me JOB. don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for it…it feeds the family and pays a few bills. it’s just that, there was a time when I didn’t have to work so much and I really do miss it. I blame myself, I suck at money…I really do and I guess it would be fair to blame “life as we know it” too. It is so hard these days to make ends meet and that is just the cold hard truth.

I think more than anything, I miss the times when my boys were little and I was lucky enough to stay at home with them. I miss their little faces in awe watching a Disney movie or one of their favorite shows. I miss teaching them how to use a spoon or a straw for the first time…and even remember vividly how badly they both wanted to learn how to blow a bubble with some gum. and oh my gosh, I miss nap time cuddles and little kid giggles and their little hand in mine. they were as different as could be, one was quiet and sweet and mild mannered and very creative. the other, feisty and temperamental, and as funny as could be. they are still very much the same as teens and I love them to pieces.

I guess I am just having one of those sappy, sentimental days…..tearing up as I type this, but sometimes my heart does ache for their early years and today I just want them to be little again.

my heart IS weak…


go ahead…I know that you are now singing that song….well, if you are anywhere near my age you are. I have been up to a lot of nothing this weekend, mostly trying to get better and also just needed some “do nothing” time. even though, I did manage to cook a couple of times and my laundry is just about caught up, so my “do nothing” time is not exactly doing nothing.

what I did do a lot of….is “pin” – if you are addicted to Pinterest, then you know exactly what I mean by that. funny thing, as I was pinning things to my boards, I realized that I have been doing the very same thing in a literal sense for as long as I can remember. having an addiction to decorating magazines since I was about 18….I still have a few from way back when….as in, maybe the early 90’s! in addition to a quite impressive stash of pages torn out of hundreds of magazines over the years.

seems my tastes have only changed a little….and I have always favored a similar style and color scheme. shades of blush and aquamarine and every shade of white. I think my first real obsession was with a laura ashley home catalog that I still have to this day….it was shabby chic before anyone knew what that was and I really loved looking through that one for years.

my love affair with the ocean is very much a part of my style….my favorite colors definitely are a example of that. the different shades of sand and the colors of the ocean and the sky. if I close my eyes, I can see myself sitting on the beach in a tropical paradise….a little bungalow off to the left and the palm trees leaning into the ocean. ~~~

as for being a foodie….recipes that are appetizing to my eyes will get me every time. I am not a “live to eat” kind of girl..but when I do eat, I want it to be wonderful….even something as simple as a sandwich. I shudder to think about all of the processed foods I have consumed over all of these years…..learning about ingredients was not something I even thought about until about 10 years ago. I have worked hard to try to use healthier ingredients, organic when feasible and would rather go without than to eat junk. don’t get me wrong, it is not something I can control 100%….but the things I can control, I do… meat and milk….always….and whole grains….and so on.

sitting here at home today….still feeling under the weather a bit…so I got to thinking about the things that make me smile. then suddenly, out of the blue, I started singing that song from The Sound of Music……

my jammies, some fresh kona coffee, my blanket and an old movie…..these are a few of my favorite things.


chicken soup with rice…

so I decided to go ahead an post the poem that inspired my blog name, so those who want to could read it and let it take you back to when you were a child and listened wide-eyed and curious to the stories that were read to you. I loved to read as a child, practically devoured books and had many many favorites. the wynken and blynken poem was in this big book of poems that I must have read hundreds of times. there was a poem about a pirate, and one about a salamander and even the one about “going up in a swing”….smiling now just thinking of it. to this day, I wish I had that book…even though the binding was worn completely off…it truly was a treasure.

I still have a few books from my childhood…ones that I also read again and again. it’s funny how if I pick them up and read them now, that for a moment I am a little girl again, sitting on my bed, in my very neatly arranged room…dolls in order and my bed nicely made and I am so happy. there was the king of the dollhouse, the secret garden, and even the mysteries of nancy drew….gosh, I wished I lived in her house! and one of the oldest books was the one called “we were tired of living in a house” which I talked about awhile back on my facebook page. that one is another worthy of sharing…so, one day, I will.

I remember as I got a little older, my mom and I would go to the library and we would both get as many books as they would let us….and in two weeks, I had read them all…sometimes twice! It was a different time….no satellite tv…and no internet…so, we had more time to do things like read. I cannot tell you when I last read…other than the stories I read with my son for school. I keep thinking that one day, I will take the time to sit long enough and read a real book again…..and try not to fall asleep! lol

In the meantime, I will just keep humming the words to “chicken soup with rice” cuz it makes everything so nice….and it just makes me smile.

have you seen my marbles?

it would seem that I have begun that slow painful descent into old age. not so much that I spend my days at the doctor’s office, nor do I have a line up of meds on my kitchen counter. it’s more like….I am slowly losing my mind. 😉

my boys could probably verify this more than anyone, for most of my questions to them begin with “I might have already asked you this…but”. I get that look that they give me when they either think I am crazy or one of pity. then they usually smile and say “yes, you did and I told you … “.  gotta love them, at least they are gentle with me.

lately, usually in my rush to get out the door to go to work, more times than not, I can’t find something that I need. important stuff….the most recent items are: my keys, my phone, my purse, my shoes……yes, my shoes…..and my coat, which is a new addition to my lost items list! notice I didn’t mention my mind….that’s a given. I have “usual spots” for all of these things, but our house has been in remodel mode for a while now, and nothing is in it’s place. at least, that’s my story.

In reference to “my marbles”, I used to clean for a very sweet elderly couple and the gentleman had alzheimers but was so brilliant that he would pass the test that they give you for the meds and so he would not qualify for them. mind you, he told me the same stories in perfect detail almost every time I was at their house. but I listened as if it was the first time he ever told me…he always enjoyed telling the stories and I didn’t want to break his spirit. He did know, however, that his mind was not what it used to be….and that he was often forgetting things and would joke a little about it. One day, I was cleaning his room and found a marble…..I went downstairs and walked over to him and said “Papa Joe, LOOK, I found your marble!” and he looked at me and grinned…and replied, “did you see the rest of them?” We both laughed so hard……and I do not think that I will ever forget that conversation….it was perfect timing.