Category: thoughts

the darker side…

yeah, can’t help it, Star Wars is all that anyone is talking, posting and tweeting about, so I figured it would be kinda of a catchy blog title.

I really do try my best to keep things positive and lighthearted, even when I am telling it “like it is” but there really have been some dark days during this last almost year and a half since the accident. I may end up deleting this later, because I prefer to keep things on the positive side, but I feel the need to at the very least write this down for therapeutic reasons.

if you have read this blog since the accident, then you know how very scary things were that day back in July 2014 when I got “the” phone call from Tanner. to be completely honest, I think I was in auto-mode that day and truly had no idea of the gravity of his injury. I remember my sister Lisa calling me and I don’t remember her saying anything other than, “I’m on my way” – I looked like a train wreck, the house was a DISASTER and I stood there for a few minutes not even sure of what I was supposed to do. I think I told that part back in the beginning, but just had a flashback of it this morning and got that anxious feeling in my chest and that’s why I am writing.

I am also sure that my sister knew a lot more than I did on the three hour drive to Roanoke that day, but she never said anything and kept me distracted and we talked about anything but what we were going to face at the hospital.

I absolutely HATE talking on the phone, so I made only a few calls, started a chain of group texts, and asked certain people to be my point of contact and they would in turn, pass things on. This was not well-received by some and I had a couple of not so pleasant phone calls that were irate at me for not calling them directly. I literally had to hang up on one person, and screened all of my calls from that point on. I certainly did not need the added stress and that’s all I am going to say about that.

when we got to Roanoke that day, we actually went to the wrong hospital at first…we really only knew that they were flying him to the closest trauma center in Roanoke but didn’t get the name of the hospital until we were literally in town. I think that’s when my chest started to hurt and I just wanted to see my boys, who were traumatized and overwhelmed having seen their dad not only get hurt but watch him go by ambulance to a field and be put in a helicopter. Tanner was upset that they did not allow him to go with him, but in hindsight, I am certain that it was for the best. thankful to my brother and our friend Rich for being there to take the boys to the hospital…what a long ride that must have been for them. 😦

pretty sure I covered the hospital arrival in my first “accident” post…suffice it to say, I was still kind of stunned, still not real sure what we were in for. boy, was I NOT prepared. it was a very, very long day.

that night, one of the guys that had been at the riding trails that morning set us up in a motel for a couple of nights so we’d be close to the hospital. not too many choices at the last minute, and he was using travel points, so there was no cost, which was a relief, but it was kind of sketchy to say the least. the dark side…around 2 am…the boys get a knock on their door (we were in connecting rooms) and thinking something had happened, Tanner opens it up…only to have a “woman” standing there asking him if he “wanted sex”!!!! now mind you, he immediately said, “um, no!” and shut the door and went back to sleep. as soon as he told us…THE NEXT MORNING! =O we didn’t even check out…we grabbed our things and left…FAST! I told this story a couple of times, and for the most part, we laugh because the way that Tanner tells it, it is kinda funny. but, in hindsight, it scares me to death, knowing that it could have been a guy and he could have forced his way into the room…and bad things could have happened. and seriously, I don’t need a lecture on dwelling on the “what ifs” – it was a scary end to a horrible day!

needless to say, I ended up sleeping in a not so comfortable chair in the hospital for the remainder of the week, my poor sister stayed there with me one night too – no sleep for either of us…

the boys went home with a local congregation brother that had met us at the hospital the day before…he took good care of them, and it was indeed a blessing. we met quite a few new friends, saw some old friends, were fed, encouraged and even managed to laugh a little. I hope they all know how very grateful I am.

in between then and now…lots a good things have happened, I’ve already written most of those…and lots of not so great things, I’m sure I have lightly touched on some. care-taking while working full-time, being a mom, and trying to take care of the most important things is, in a nutshell REALLY, REALLY HARD! I spent many days crying in the shower, quietly so that no one could hear me, crying in my car, or at the oddest places…like the middle of the grocery store. I work so hard to keep a smile on my face, to be the bright spot in Larry’s day, to focus on the positive but sometimes, I would literally just break. there are days when he would actually say he didn’t want to wake up, when he wanted to die, when he would be so hard on himself that it was just torture to hear. even now, just the other day, he asked if they could put him into a coma for the next few months as he awaits two more surgeries. (quick update regarding that: his last surgery was two weeks ago, they removed the hardware from his leg and we honestly went in scared to death that it would be bad news, like an infection that would inhibit his leg completely. thankfully, surgery went well and he is home recovering from that and there will be two more =I – one, in about 4 or 5 weeks, they will go in, take a calf muscle and some skin and transfer it to the front of his leg – this will give his poor, beat up leg – good skin and blood flow for the next surgery, which will be a knee replacement. each surgery he has to wait at least 6 weeks for the next. so, I am guessing that by early summer, maybe, hopefully, he will be walking with a lot less pain and ease.)

anyway, back to the ugly…if you haven’t ever changed wound dressings, emptied urinals, given kitchen sinks baths, among other things…then you have no idea how hard that was for him and for me. he lost some of his dignity and I literally hurt for him in my heart because I could see his suffering. it wasn’t pretty…

the other dark side of something like this is one I hate talking about, but to be honest, it’s there, it’s like a giant elephant in our life right now and I hate it. this has financially devastated us…we are heading into our third year of surgery bills, deductibles, we lost just about half of his paycheck a few months ago and mine is going to be significantly smaller as of next month because I have to add them all to my insurance at work. we found a way to pay off some of our debts that had added up over the years, and I am working hard on trying to manage the countless medical bills that we have but it’s been a huge kick in the guts to our budget. it was kind of the year for everything in the house to break down, for the car to break down, for my youngest to have a ginormous growth spurt and for me to take care of some health issues as well. I kept thinking, can one more thing break or go wrong…wait for it…yes it can! I have to laugh to keep from crying but seriously I could use a good cry too. and trust me, I take them now, doesn’t seem to matter who is around me now…the tears will just burst out!

the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion was something we had to work on – so it wouldn’t take us over. sometimes we still struggle, but the bright light in all of this darkness, was that spiritually, we remained strong. when we couldn’t be at the kingdom hall, or just didn’t have the energy to go and try to smile or look human, we listened in…and though we weren’t physically there, we were still encouraged by our friends.

I am sure there is more, but I really do try to look at the blessings, to appreciate the small things, to be grateful for what we have, which is a lot more important than money, or the lack of, or anything else for that matter. we have HOPE and faith that will not be shaken no matter how hard life tries to break us. we have dear friends that have fed us, and fed us well!! we have made new friends, that have gone out of their way to be supportive when we needed it the most, friends that make me laugh, that love us even when we are gloomy (you know who you are!) and most of all, we have each other…which is cheesy but it’s the truth. Tanner is my true north, he keeps me calm and is wise beyond his years and Logan is my comic relief, he makes me laugh even when I don’t want to sometimes.

so, that’s that…it’s not pretty, but I needed to get it out. my friend Maria told me that writing is good therapy, cleansing for the soul…and she is right. I do feel better now.

until next time





I sang that song as I wrote this title…just love it…a classic, it shall never get old!

anywho, guess what?! guess who is the world’s worst blogger?

that would be me…over here, trying to open up a second window to double check when it actually was that I blogged last so that I can make some sort of reference to it!! =O

yep, it’s been awhile – again – but it’s my blog so seriously, it doesn’t matter – pretty sure I am the only one who reads it and that’s mostly to check for spelling errors and make sure that my grammar is up to my liking as I know that my constant run-on sentences and overuse of theΒ ellipsis or … drives the true grammar nazi completely nuts. I mean even my phone now understands me when I say “dot dot dot” when I text talk…and that is super cool.

anyway, not sure if things have really changed too much – seems like Larry has made some progress in some ways and not at all in others, but honestly, I am so close to the situation that it could be like wondering when your kid got 1 foot taller!! I mean, they used to look up at me…and now I am the shortest…again. πŸ˜‰

last post was not too long after the last surgery to help straighten out the leg. it’s straighter, for sure, the foot has more movement and is somewhat easier to move, but the pain level is still an issue. he walks only with the help of a leg brace, almost like a removable cast. he tries to walk without it, but the strength is just not there, and it ends up being too painful for him to even try. physical therapy started again this past week as we had to wait for his wound to completely heal before he could go…and let me tell you…it took f.o.r.e.v.e.r!!! once again, it shall be noted that I would have never been a good nurse…the ick factor is just more than I can bear. I am a little proud of my wound care and leg wrapping abilities but still not a fan of open wounds and all the yuck that comes with it!!

needless to say, it has been the longest year ever…11 months actually today since the accident and it feels like it’s been two years! tired is not nearly sufficient enough to describe how I feel but this too shall pass.

we truly don’t know how to even gauge how much more Larry will progress. part of me worries that this is it and that concerns me because I know he struggles every single minute just to get around. there are so many things that we take for granted, just sitting or laying comfortably, running to the mail box or up and down the stairs…all not an option for him at the moment.

so, I spend every single day trying to think of something positive and encouraging to say, most of the time I am quoting a scripture or something that I read in our daily text. thankful for my faith in Jehovah God and his promises, thankful for the gift of prayer and the bible, thankful for friends and family that are there if I need them, that pray in our behalf, and encourage us constantly. so these are the blessings that come when trials and tribulations hit you like a freight train!!!

seriously, I am a girl who just loves to laugh so going through this has been hard at times…I’ve sobbed quietly in the shower and sitting in my car on my lunch break. I’ve cried standing in aisle at the drug store and even sitting at my desk at work. I’ve become so fragile that it scares me at times. I’ve always been a softie…you know, the person who cries over the Hallmark commericial or when someone does something especially sweet or thoughtful. I cry when I am mad…which I hate…but I can’t seem to help it. but these days, I wonder if I should have bought stock in Kleenex!!

things will get better, they always do…so, if you happen to see me crying, don’t feel bad, my off button seems to be broken right now and it’s okay.

until then, everything else is as good as can be expected…

same as it ever was πŸ˜‰

hope guides me…

“it’s what gets me through the day…” probably one of my favorite lines from a movie and lately it rings more true than ever.

about a week ago – as I “thought about” getting caught up in this blog (laughing out loud now) I had a different title in mind – it was something like “caught somewhere between a circus and a train wreck” but honestly, as much as I do feel that way at times, I really have to say that the whole saying “it could be worse” is constantly in my thoughts.

each and every day that goes by – I read about or see the news and there is so much “bad”!! it certainly puts things into perspective and sort of steps on my toes a bit. while our life has not been easy for the last 9 months – I would not trade my problems with that of pretty much anyone else that I know. I have friends fighting for their lives…I have friends fighting for their children’s lives and it literally breaks my heart to know how hard that must be to go through for them and their families.

don’t get me wrong, I am overwhelmed – I am tired…beyond it actually – I have medical bills that I will be making payments on for many years!! I often feel like no one understands and that most don’t realize how bad things really were/are/could’ve been – even though I am positive that I said it, wrote it, posted it. I actually get tired of hearing myself talk about it and just want things to get good enough to be able to COMPLETELY move on. and so, here goes to trying to do just that – but first, an update…

it would seem that I left off sometime in february when Larry started “land therapy” as he likes to call it!! bahahhaaha

needless to say, he went a few afternoons a week and then cut back to two afternoons a week to save money…sad, but true and this blog is where I just say it like it is…

he went back to work – not quite full-time but almost – as a manager, he is able to do his job for the most part, though navigating around the place that he works is very hard on his leg because it requires a lot of walking. his company agreed to give him on-site parking and he has a shiny new handicap tag for this truck and he uses a cane to get around – with plenty of stops to rest as needed. (probably not nearly as much as he needs because he is stubborn and impatient and so desperately wants to be back to normal but…you know what I mean)

and like last time, there have been numerous trips to Charlottesville and back – the drive seems to get shorter and we have our own routine for the most part – and a new tradition of stopping for a chocolate dipped cone on the way home just because we like it! πŸ˜‰

he had his 4th surgery a week ago today – it was sort of 2 in 1 – the doctor had to remove a lot of scar tissue from behind his knee and work on the tendons there, so that he could extend his leg more. since the last surgery, there was a significant bend in his leg which made it very difficult to walk without looking a bit like a neanderthal =O and while they had hoped that physical therapy would have eliminated that between the scar tissue and the tendons being so tight – surgery became necessary. the part 2 of the surgery was to cut the achilles tendon – so that he would be able to keep his foot up. the nerve damage, which is more than likely permanent, caused him to have “drop foot” – so, even if his leg had been straight, walking with his foot that way, would be hard for him – as he’d have to bring his leg up higher with each step just to avoid from tripping over his own foot. he currently has a hard cast on his foot up to below his knee but the ultimate goal is for his leg to be straight and his foot to be straight. we have 5 more weeks in the cast – so fingers are crossed!!!

they did perform another nerve study since the last time that I posted and there was some “very slight” activity in the top of his foot – which is great news!!! and nothing at all happening in his shin – so, we don’t really expect that to come back, but nerves can take up to two years to regenerate, so not giving up “hope”!

I think the hardest part of this whole saga is the fact that we were not prepared – and that more times than not we simply felt helpless. if it were not for my faith and hope in Jehovah and for the friends and family that have been so supportive and understanding – I am pretty sure I would be that “train wreck” that I mentioned earlier.

yesterday I heard an experience about a butterfly flying with 70% of their wings damaged and gone – it’s mind boggling when you think about it – but it hit me, and it hit Larry too. we can be damaged, hurt, broken or whatever, but it is up to us to keep flying.

with hope…

so, yeah…

I really don’t know why I think I can keep up with blogging with all of the millions of things that I have on my “to-do list” but I suppose I will just keep trying. Needless to say, I have to back track all the way to October to update here – for the most part, it’s all on the facebook page, but for my handful of friends that don’t go there…this is the easiest way to update everyone all in one punch! so to speak πŸ˜‰

so, I guess I left off about the time that Larry started hydrotherapy for his leg – he went 3 times a week for about 6 weeks for therapy in the pool – which more than anything just felt good. it’s low impact, and water is so therapeutic – and he took advantage of the whirlpool after each session. Β I think that was his favorite part πŸ™‚ so much so, that he keeps trying to figure out how to get a hot tub for the house!

he graduated to what he calls “land therapy” lol – and continues to go 3 times a week – usually in the afternoon after work. it’s been a struggle, we honestly have not seen any real improvement since then, though he is walking with a cane, but with a very obvious limp and it hurts. there are times when he tries to get away with walking without the cane, but he shouldn’t – he’s almost fallen several times and his gait is so off balance, it not only looks painful, but I know that it feels pretty bad too. he’s just so determined to walk “normal” again and is having a really hard time waiting for things to progress naturally. we’ve been to Charlottesville so many times that I have lost count, but truly cannot say enough good things about the doctor, his staff and all of the other folks working in the UVA health system. they truly embody what good customer service should be!!

let’s see, he’s been to his ortho doctor several times, has been seen by the neurologist, the spine specialist, has had an MRI, lots of x-rays, and an EMG – which is a nerve conduction study, which led to more appointments including one for an epidural steroid injection. the EMG indicated several degenerative discs in his spine, which is not that uncommon, especially with his rheumatoid arthritis and his height and frame. it was really just one more thing to put on the list of “health problems”.

we are still trying to get his pain managed, which is very frustrating because you cannot take narcotics on a regular basis and
the regular pain meds just don’t do enough to help most days. he also still has not regained any feeling in his leg below the knee to his toes on the front side, and has absolutely no control over his foot. in addition to that, his leg is still not 100% straight, so, between the lack of control of his foot and the bend in his leg, when he does walk…it is with more swag than you could possibly imagine and while some days he laughs about it and “works it” – other days, it depresses him very much.

needless to say, life as we know it has totally changed. when we are around friends, we try really hard to keep it light and not make too much of it, though I know we are not always succeeding. it is hard…plain and simple. I posted not long ago on facebook how he is literally grieving the loss of being able to do so many things that he was used to doing, things we take for granted. I hurt for him, I struggle with the loss of some of my “me time” because my days start earlier now, and has more crammed in it – just so I can help make his days easier. it’s just going to take time for us to really adjust to this “new normal” and in the process, we try not to let it consume us – and that in itself is the biggest challenge of all.

in the meantime, he has switched to a different physical therapist, one that he feels will be able to help him more. and we have more appointments ahead of us … possibly surgery on his foot … just trying to eliminate all other options first. trying to manage the pain and the depression and keep moving forward.

anyway, that’s all for now…I am weeks behind in editing…which overwhelms me like you cannot imagine – and I keep telling myself that it could be worse, because I know for a fact that it could!! I don’t need anyone to remind me to count my blessings, because every day that our eyes open and our feet hit the ground I am grateful.

and that is all…

for now. πŸ™‚

never ending story…

third attempt at blogging…same story, different year. great intentions do not however equal great results. the whole idea is for me to really just have a place to write down thoughts and ideas and hold onto them…as I have become the most disorganized person ever. as insane as that is…having formerly been the most organized person ever, to the point of being on the OCD side of things. the cure – a combination of having a very messy child, working too much, being distracted with too many things and to be completely honest, just being too tired to do anything about it.

I miss the days when I could literally stay in my pajamas, aka, my husband’s t-shirt and some footies and take my time to do all of the things that needed to be done around the house each day. with the exception of the kid’s mess…the house was otherwise spotless, laundry was always caught up, dinner ready most nights and I was tired…but it was a different kind of tired.

it is senseless to dwell on all of the reasons why but suffice it to say that it is a combination of so many things…some being my fault, some being life as we know it and some, just plain bad luck! I literally work to eat – my desk job is our grocery money, that and gas with very little extra most months. my photography is more like therapy to me, and I actually wish I could afford to do it just for fun, but it really is a lot of work and comes with it’s own expenses. I don’t charge enough to cover all of the time I put in planning, scheduling, shooting, editing and all of the post production for every session. my problem is, I still consider myself a student of photography, as I am learning something all of the time, and that makes me not value my time as much as I should. I have a long way to go to be the kind of photographer that I want to be, but in the meantime, I am struggling with the idea of how and what to charge for the photographer that I am right now. I hear it all of the time, people want the best value for their money, and that’s great when it comes to groceries, or a car or something like that, but photographs are not in the same category at all. yes, prints are tangible, but memories are not and time, well, time is valuable…my time and I have to start giving my time what it is worth. and that, is what is so difficult. I am one of those people who has to figure out how to budget every dollar, every day and so I understand costs, expense and how hard it is to afford many things. trust me, this is a girl who has NEVER had a mani/pedi, who doesn’t go to fancy salon’s to get my hair done, though I am sure I could use it! so, I am at this place where I don’t know what to do…I want my photography to be my only paycheck but I don’t want to burden my client’s either. it is a hard place to be…because I do understand…I am there too. life is expensive and that sucks.

I have an on again off again relationship with Coca Cola. I am not really worried about what anyone else thinks of it. It’s just that I have made my mind up that I was going to start cutting back on all things bad for me. for me…that means all things sugary!! =O

as I get older, and the bones start aching a little more – I feel regret for not really being into healthy eating as much as I could have or should have. having said that, about ten years ago, I was introduced to a company called Arbonne and ever since, I have really worked hard to incorporate organic foods into our diets and even became quite the label reader on everything else. in all that time, I have only bought organic milk and meat and stopped buying all sorts of junk food. brand names and labels became very important and not in a snobby kind of way, but in a “I am not putting that crap into my body” kind of way.

fast food is extremely limited and even that is selective. haven’t set foot in a McD’s in so long, that I can’t even remember what’s on the menu. even so, there are times when sometimes you just have to have it. and today, was it…..I wanted a large Coke so bad and didn’t really need it. half of it is getting poured down the sink because it’s been sitting on my desk so long…it’s all watered down. 😦 blech

anyway, that’s my two cents…maybe not even worth that much…but it is my blog…I can say whatever I want!! πŸ™‚

sitting here watching it rain…again…and can’t help but think about how quickly time is flying by me, and all of us these days. we are always in a hurry, always busy and speaking for myself – have way too much going on most of the time. I really do miss the days when I had “free time”. I mean, I have it now, but the difference is, there is always a dozen or so things that I really should be doing. I mean time where you can sit and relax and not have the pressure of having something you have to do, somewhere you have to go or someone you need to see.

this world as we know it makes it that way – hectic and busy – is the norm and I hate it. it isn’t like it is some big surprise…the times we live in are prophetic and we certainly have our hands full. I think that I just wish I had been smarter, made better decisions and didn’t burden myself down, or have so many hurdles.

mostly, I am just tired…and tired of being tired. I want to enjoy every moment I can with my boys…while they are still young. and they are growing up fast, so I don’t want to miss anything. they are the best. yes, all parents say that – but really, they are awesome. truly two of the sweetest boys ever and we are close, which makes me very happy.

this brings me to my calendar – which is a disaster if you could see it!! and I literally have made myself cross days and nights off in it – to be sure that I don’t let my “busy” work – get in the way of my family time. even if we just watch cartoons together – which we do – it’s time together. we are planning more outings together, hanging out with the boys and their friends a lot more and going to the movies – just us – the way they like it.

the heart is weak….

okay, technically “the flesh is weak and the heart is treacherous”…if I am quoting verse.

so I am just sitting here with a million and two things on my mind…yes, more than you thought, huh?! and have known for a very long time that I need to regroup. as a mom, I am always busy, running my boys here and there, helping with homework and last minute projects, editing their papers (which is bad for them, my grammar sucks!) and the usual shoe shopping, haircuts, soccer games and such. that is after the monday thru friday, forty hour a week, stealing my precious hours away from me JOB. don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for it…it feeds the family and pays a few bills. it’s just that, there was a time when I didn’t have to work so much and I really do miss it. I blame myself, I suck at money…I really do and I guess it would be fair to blame “life as we know it” too. It is so hard these days to make ends meet and that is just the cold hard truth.

I think more than anything, I miss the times when my boys were little and I was lucky enough to stay at home with them. I miss their little faces in awe watching a Disney movie or one of their favorite shows. I miss teaching them how to use a spoon or a straw for the first time…and even remember vividly how badly they both wanted to learn how to blow a bubble with some gum. and oh my gosh, I miss nap time cuddles and little kid giggles and their little hand in mine. they were as different as could be, one was quiet and sweet and mild mannered and very creative. the other, feisty and temperamental, and as funny as could be. they are still very much the same as teens and I love them to pieces.

I guess I am just having one of those sappy, sentimental days…..tearing up as I type this, but sometimes my heart does ache for their early years and today I just want them to be little again.

my heart IS weak…

1 – I am a very impatient person….and I hate that about myself…
2 – I grew up in a very large family and had more responsibilities than I wanted…but, it made me a better person in so many ways. So…thanks mom!
3 – When I did finally decide that I was going to have children…I really wanted boys….I am not much into girly-girl things…and hate drama….that, and I can’t even fix my own hair…much less braids & pony tails! lol
4 – Speaking of my boys….love them more than anything….they are polar opposites, which keeps things interesting. But at the end of the day, they are my favorite people in the whole world!! ❀
5 – I would love to learn how to play guitar….and really enjoy listening to acoustic spanish guitar.
6 – I have an insatiable (sp) sweet tooth…..and consider myself a pretty good baker or all thing sweet and yummy.
7 – I love to sing…..sing all the time in my car, at home….at work (real low, so no one will hear me)
8 – I am a creative person by nature…..besides singing, I also like to write songs, poetry and short stories. I have recently got into scrapbooking and have a camera that I am trying to learn how to use.
9 – Hindsight is everything….and I wish that I had taken the initiative when I was young and single to learn a trade….such as interior design, or photography….something that I could do that involved beautification. πŸ™‚
10 – I love love love the beach and I think it would be great to live in a house in the trees on a isolated island somewhere….
11- I hate shoes and would go barefoot or wear flip flops everywhere if I could get away with it.
12- I am entirely too friendly for my own good at times….which can get me into trouble – either taken advantage of or mistaken for flirtation.
13 – I was taught to treat everyone with respect no matter what race or religious or ethnic background and it makes me sad that people still have issues with any of those things.
14 – This is taking a very long time….and I am getting tired.
15 – I have always been self-conscious about how I looked….and sometimes wish that I was pretty.
16 – I have a great sense of humor…..appreciate comedy as long as its not too silly and sadly, I almost always laugh when I shouldn’t…like when someone slips and falls, as long as they aren’t really hurt.
17 – I used to pride myself on how perfectly clean and neat my home was….note the words “used to” – as kids and a dog have completely destroyed that!! lol
18 – I am still quite obsessive-compulsive about certain things…like how the towels are folded and color coordinated with the wash cloths…and I can’t leave a room if the light switch is up and the light is off. I will have to go to the other switch and turn it back on…so, that I can go back to the one that is “up” and turn it off again. Sick…yes, I know….that, and I will change the toilet paper so that the roll falls down from behind and not over the top…even if it isn’t my house!!
19 – I love blackened fish wraps and wish I had some right now…with a corona and some chili’s chips and salsa. ;p
20 – I have many names….mom, dianna, deanna, dino, diane, logan’s mom, tanner’s mom, ms. lester, and sister lester just to name a few. I have to say, I haven’t ever really been called anything really bad…at least not to my face.
21 – I met my husband when I was about 13 years old and immediately had a crush on him……we ended up getting married when we were 24 and are going to be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary this coming April 25th.
22 – I love listening to all kinds of music….and sometimes wish that I had been good enough to sing professionally.
23 – When I grew up….we spent lots of time camping at different beaches up and down the east coast..and I have great memories of crabbing all day on the pier, making drip castles in the sand, disney and collecting seashells and sand dollars. We always seem to have someone extra with us on vacation…..what was one more person in a family of 10!!?!?! πŸ™‚
24 – I had the neatest grammie & grampa ever….and could write a whole page on why….they were really fun and we were very close to them.
25 – Well, now that I am here.. I could think of at least 25 more random thoughts…but, maybe I will save that for another day. Just know….that for the most part, I am so happy to be me….and be a part of a great big family…movie of the week included at times…but, always good for a story or two.
I love all of my sisters and brothers….and my mom too!!
Peace out!

from 1/31/2009

I just found this and it made me laugh out loud, quite literally. I didn’t want to delete it and find myself thinking of doing it again, just to see what’s different and what would be the same. πŸ™‚ And yes….there are a lot of capital letters down there…those would indicate the “QUESTIONS” though it is hurting my eyes just to look at it! πŸ˜‰


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a week or so ago when I saw the movie – The Express

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? when I take my time…it’s really nice…when I don’t, it’s horrible

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ukrop’s Oven Roasted Turkey

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 2 boys….Tanner is 12 and Logan is almost 9


7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? me? no way…….of course, it’s one of my talents




11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no….unless I can’t get them off

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? breyer’s or haagendaz (sp) coffee


15. RED OR PINK? pink


17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? grandparents


19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? jeans & brown bare traps

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? logan opening all of the cabinets looking for snackage


23. FAVORITE SMELLS? honeysuckle, something sweet baking, babies fresh from a bath



26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? football & olympics

27. HAIR COLOR? brown with help

28. EYE COLOR? brown


30. FAVORITE FOOD? blackened fish or a good steak




34. Summer or winter? SUMMER

35. HUGS OR KISSES? both

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hard to say πŸ™‚

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? same as above

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? whatever Logan is reading for school

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? don’t have one

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? recorded American Idol & Cash Cab

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? a thunder storm, my boys getting along, acoustic guitar…



45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? hard to say….I am creative….

46 WHERE WERE U BORN? Richmond Memorial Hospital, VA


48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? through his sister when we were 13

from 2/6/2009